Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Monique N., Age 30

Is the idea of having children something that you are open to, or were open to at some point in the past? Is the fact that you don’t have children the result of a deliberate decision or just the way your life happened to work out? If it was a deliberate decision, can you tell me something about how you made this choice, the circumstances, your reasons, whether it was easy, hard, etc.?

I have never wanted to procreate and my husband feels the same way. He has actually had a vasectomy to ensure that he does not! This is a deliberate choice, as we cannot condone breeding on this dying planet. There are way too many creatures (human and non-human) who are already here & need help!

What are the three most important factors that influenced your decision to be childfree? Do you enjoy being childfree? If so, why? If not, why not? Are there any bad things about being childfree? If so, what are they?

The current state of our planet, the lack of patience and/or time to raise another human being, and the fact that I do not wish to be responsible for another human life. I thoroughly enjoy being childfree, as I can concentrate on helping the innocent non-human animals that humans abuse and mistreat every day without a second thought! The only so-called negative thing that I can think of, is dealing with the ignorance of the "breeder" population (sad but true)!

Please describe the kinds of reactions you have received from others in response to your not having children. How supportive and accepting have your friends and family been? How accepting do you feel society as whole is of the voluntarily childless ("childfree") lifestyle? Do you feel childfree individuals suffer from unfairness, prejudice or discrimination in society? Do you feel there are common misconceptions about childfree individuals or the childfree lifestyle?

My friends and family are quite supportive, but others have reacted negatively, as they seem to believe that procreation is a duty, and they are so narrow-minded that they cannot fathom not having children. Some also wrongly think that I do like children, when this is not true at all. I simply feel sorry for them!

In retrospect, how do you feel about your decision to be childfree? Do you still feel the same way as always on this issue? To date have you had any regrets? Do you think you may have regrets later in life? Is there any possibility you may change your mind about having children at some point?

YES - JE NE REGRETTE RIEN - In the words of Edith Piaf - Lol! Should I EVER change my mind, however (HIGHLY unlikey), I would consider adoption first & foremost.

Have you had any childfree role models during your life? Please explain.

The couple that were esssentially my "grandparents", although we were not actually related. They were childfree, happy & married for over 50 years!

When you compare your life to the lives of women you know who have children (family, friends, co-workers), how would you evaluate the advantages, disadvantages, and overall life satisfaction associated with each kind of lifestyle?

Every person that I am close too, who I consider to be a good PARENT (and not merely a breeder) has admitted to me that they have serious misgivings about having a second child...

Do you perceive that there are any dominant messages expressed in our culture about having children? If so, what are they?

Of course! The falacy that man is here to spread his seed & consume, consume, consume - as according to to our culture, man is somehow a superior being...

Do you feel these messages are for the most part accurate, inaccurate, misleading or something else? Please explain.

They are completely false! "Man is just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than his four-legged counterparts".

Have any parents ever spoken to you about the "downside" of having children or told you if they had to go back and do it all over again, they wouldn't have kids? Have any parents expressed that they are jealous of you for being childfree? If so, please describe the conversation(s).

YES - See above.

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